Tag Archives: polls

Which Picture is Worth a Thousand Words?

We have been silent for the past two weeks– but we have been busy.  (Making a masterpiece is hard work.) After climbing mountains of garbage and shooting a Gambian model; entertaining hypnotists, Coney Island performers, and holy men; paying a crowd of people to get drunk on a Bushwick soundstage; and giving manicures to bongo players and goldfish crackers to children, it’s hard to know where to begin.

That’s why we’re leaving the decision up to you.

Each of these photos is a door into a story.




Which door would you like to open?

Some doors have better pictures behind them, some doors have better words.

Voting will close on Tuesday, after which one door will swing open.


Something Has to Happen

Jon Kane is out of the office today and the woodshop stands empty.  Outside the opticnerve™ studio windows, the ocean is a swampy green. The hatchlings in the walls were noisy last week; today they have fallen silent. The cold may have put them to sleep.

Here it is happy hour (the woman at the liquor store calls us The Bulleit Boys).

What kind of adventure would you like us to take you on next?  We have an excellent firsthand account of a fatal 1977 plane crash stored in the backroom.  Alternately, Rang Rang has suggested we lighten things up a little and begin an opticnerve™ dating game.

Remember: while the grim past is illuminated by memory’s lantern, the future remains obscured by the darkness of the unknown.

Today the pictured door is closed.

If you have any comments for Jon, rest assured his door is sometimes open.  No-body can convey said comments to him when it is.

Pick Your Poison

Each video in the opticnerve™ archive comes with a private history.

For example, it was written in Mariah Carey’s contract that she couldn’t get her hair wet.

For example, Jon Kane needed “Johnny” to stay clean for a week.

Thank you for playing.  Results will be tabulated on Thursday morning; your story will be served at the end of the week.

Choose Your First Adventure

Jon Kane likes things a certain way.  His cigarette lighter is twelve inches long, his terrycloth slippers are toeless, and the handcrafted trail mix in his studio is his own special recipe.  His year-round Christmas lights are equipped with dimmers, his fridge is well-stocked with Fresca, and if you don’t let him merge on the freeway, he will calmly run into you with his car.   Now he’s building a web presence, and he’s building it his way.

Jon Kane has requested a blog “In the style of Hemingway: short sentences. No fancy words.”It should be sensational and X-rated, but appropriate for twelve-year-old girls.  The blog, which is to be an honest chronicle of opticnerve antics that somehow avoids the censure of spurned lovers or nosy policemen, will recall a newspaper in structure.

Does this sound impossible?  Jon Kane has been known to end a fight with a single punch.  He wants a blog and we are going to give him one.

We have our setting.  We have our lead character.  We have a stockpile of modern day tall tales for you.  But we haven’t picked our first story.  We’ll find out what you want to hear first, then tell it to you the way that you like it best.

Generally speaking, what’s your poison?  Most votes in each category wins.

Specific requests and questions will be addressed in the comments below.

Once we have your feedback, we are ready to move forward.  The stories we’ll tell you over the next month range from the sweet and fanciful to the gruesome and macabre.  There are orphaned baby birds, doorless helicopter rides over Manhattan, and parties even  Caligula couldn’t have dreamed up (because they were so child-appropriate). At all times, it is important to remember that some of the names and places have been deranged. Or changed.