Tag Archives: girls

We Know What Boys Like

International Playboy and Devoted Father of Two

Sixty percent of our Facebook friends are male. They like things like Playboy and Tabasco Sauce and Tequila and opticnerve™.   They like opticnerve™ because here there are girls and hot sauce… and more than you can imagine of both, though perhaps in a different capacity. Jon Kane has strong feelings about employee health and morale; accordingly, the men of the opticnerve™ studios skateboard between their workspaces, sip custom drinks from our fully stocked bar and, sometimes, make use of a steam shower recently installed in the back room of Studio 4B.  Jon Kane knows what boys like.

When Spike TV began a rebranding campaign in 2006, they changed their slogan to “Get More Action” and sensibly gave international playboy and devoted father of two Jon Kane a call.  Soon, Jon’s production-assistant-cumproducer, “Matt” was out at strip clubs night after night, scouting for talent, accompanied by a female friend and carrying fistfuls of bills.  After a long and arduous fortnight of lap-dances and interstate travel, “Matt” finally had enough interested young ladies to hold a two-day casting call.

opticnerve™ held the call in the basement of their old studios in Manhattan. The floor was concrete and all the dancers were slipping in clear plastic heels.  The girls took off the tops of their string bikinis and jumped up and down as slowly as possible.  They danced sensuously and jogged in place while undressing.

But when the girls needed to kiss each other, they refused to kiss each other.

Like this

Kissing was not optional; Jon needed to film it for the screen test.  He didn’t want to make the girls feel uncomfortable, so he suggested that they demonstrate on his production-assistant-cum-producer, “Matt,” instead.  The young Hollywood hopefuls all felt okay about that.  One after another, for the rest of the day, they did. Somewhere, raw footage may still exist of “Matt” in the studio basement, engaging in kiss after open-mouthed kiss with girl after girl.

In the end, this is the commercial that aired on Spike TV instead of the kissing spot (though, rest assured, the girls did kiss).

When the auditions were over, Jon and “Matt” thought about who they should cast as the dancer for a second Spike TV spot, but decided that none of the girls who showed up for the casting call were quite right.  Instead, they recruited the receptionist of their company, who was nervous.  She said she had never done anything like that before.